Tag Archives: Self-doubt

My two

My two

My two girls, Thank you. For your tender hearts and your forgiveness during these past ten months of pregnancy. Thank you for forgiving me, when I was less than present and more than emotional. Thank you for moving past it when I was too hard on you or expected too much. I’m sorry for the… Read more

Third place

Third place

I rub my belly asking you for answers. Are you quiet like the big one, sensitive, shy and mild, or loud like the small, bold, brave and eager? I wish for your ability to forgive. For my being overwhelmed at times, for the chaos of this home with love overflowing this tin box of drippy… Read more

Two poutines and one wax cup

Two poutines and one wax cup

She’s done this before. Waiting in line at the drug store, arm weighted down to her hip, trying to be discreet about the hot pink pregnancy test box containing her fate. She spontaneously sandwiches it between two boxes of Smarties calling her name, which she doesn’t even like, if only to fill the time that has… Read more

When her lips turn blue

When her lips turn blue

She’s only just reclining my dentist chair and I’m already a mess, my eyes welling with tears behind the oversized sunglasses I’ve requested. Vomit waits in my throat as my exam begins. Outside in the hallway I can hear Wren recovering with her grandmother, sifting through a chest of prizes after completing her visit. Only… Read more

Grey girl

Grey girl

At the time your fate was deduced to bullet pointed pros and cons on a Grocery list. I kept it folded neatly in the pocket of my jeans, swapping it from one pair of worn pants to the next, ready for additions. I was 23. Until then, my life had been fairly calculated- predictable, even, given… Read more

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